


Forever

by orphan_account



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe- non magic, Asexual Spectrum, BSL, CODA Sirius, Deaf Character, Deaf!Regulus, Demi!Remus, Demi-sexuality, F/M, Knitting, M/M, PoC, Sign Language, YouTubers - Freeform, anti-gender norms, poc characters, ukulele playing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-29
Updated: 2015-10-29
Packaged: 2018-04-28 19:28:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5102957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius Black--CoDA, outcast, family disappointment, and fairly famous  YouTuber who runs a sign language channel SiriuslySigns with his best mate, James.  </p><p>Remus Lupin-- vegan hipster who dropped out of University and lives with his best mate Peter, and together run HowlingMoon's DIY, barmy science experiments, and ukulele tutorials channel.  </p><p>When Sirius becomes enamoured with Moony's singing, he dedicates a sign tutorial in hopes he'll be noticed.  This leads to exchanging of shout-outs and videos, and what Sirius hopes, is a little something more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forever

**Author's Note:**

> So this was for Anon Request on Tumblr: anonymous asked:
> 
> Can you please do a fic where either Sirius or Remus are a vlogger who does sign vids (is like Deaf or KoDA) and the other does music tutorials, and both are popular and meet when the sign channel does a sign vid of one of the other one. I love your AU work and am HoH and love your representation in fic. IDK please please please.
> 
> So hopefully this lives up to that? I went with Sirius as a CoDA (child of Deaf adults) instead of being Deaf himself. I did the sign language conversations in written English instead of sign grammar--however Reg and Sirius would be using BSL grammar in reality, so just bear that in mind. 
> 
> Also huge HUGE shout-out to my beta croatoanmary who did one of the most thorough and amazing jobs on this fic. She is a delight! xx
> 
> Any mistakes left in the text are 100% all mine. Hope you enjoy!

“Jamieeeeee! Jamie Jamies Jimmy Jimmooooo!”

A tousled head popped round the corner, brown eyes narrowed in irritation. “What, Sirius? I’m in the middle of…”

Sirius, who was lying flat on his back across his bed, his head hanging off the side, long black hair fanned out elegantly beneath him, gave his flatmate a sharp grin. His first finger and thumb pinched together to make an o, the rest of his fingers daintily sticking up in the air, and he tipped his pinched fingers to his lips. ‘Tea?’

“Oh hell…how lazy are you, Sirius? Get your own bloody tea,” James hissed.

“But I’m tired,” Sirius whinged. “So tired. You’ve no idea the night I had.”

“Yes, in fact, I do know what sort of night you had as you stumbled into _my_ bed last night when you got in and snogged me.”

Sirius chuckled. “Oh shit. I thought that was a dream.”

“You thought me smacking you round the head and dragging your arse into your own room was a dream. Mate, I do not want to know about your subconscious.”

Sirius shoved two fingers, upside down, at his friend. “I’m hung over. And I love you. And I really want tea. And I’m trying to sort out my next video.”

James sneered, but took a step in the room and peered at the monitor to Sirius’ laptop, barking a laugh when he saw Pug vines loaded. “You are not.”

“I am. I’m getting inspired.”

“By dogs?” James asked, one eyebrow up.

“By cute things. Besides, you like dogs.” Sirius rolled onto his stomach and shoved his fringe away from his face. “Will you buy me a dog?”

“No. You’re practically a bloody dog already. Hang on whilst I get your damned tea.”

Sirius grinned triumphantly as he stretched back out, and used his foot to kick his laptop closer to him. He finished the pug vine, then clicked on his subscriptions and saw one of his favourite channels had uploaded a new video.

It was a sort of tutorial-crafty type channel run by two people, with videos that had been captioned. No real theme at all to it, a bit all over the place, but it was probably why Sirius liked it so much. The first was around his age and had rosy cheeks and blonde hair. He had an overbite and was a bit ferrety, and usually did stuff like DIY and experiments with food or chemicals. He was often referred to as, “Wormy, or Wormtail,” and Sirius had to wonder what the hell that was about.

The second, far more interesting one, was called Moony. He was definitely tall, which Sirius noticed when he sat in a video next to Wormtail where they experimented with pasties and liquid nitrogen.

The video itself was hilarious, but it was Moony who made it worth watching. He was on the thin side, and in every video looked like he was wearing at least three fuzzy jumpers, and sometimes he had on a funky rainbow coloured beanie with stray threads all over the place. He had dark olive skin, and beneath the ridiculous hat were tawny curls. He had a large nose and amber coloured eyes, which Sirius could appreciate, having barmy coloured eyes himself, a slight overbite, and a slight turn to his eye-teeth which was only noticeable when he laughed or smiled. Which, in Sirius’ biased opinion, were the best parts of those videos.

Moony also had a stark Welsh accent, though a few times Sirius had caught a glimpse out of the flat he and Wormtail filmed from and swore he caught a glimpse of the London skyline. The very thought sent his heart racing because if that was the case, it was very possible they could run into each other.

Moony himself made videos of things like knitting tutorials, a couple of crochet. He once did an entire tutorial of arm knitting where he made a scarf which very nearly enveloped his entire face, and the pleased look in his eyes when he was finished made Sirius feel somewhat mad and maybe even half in love.

Besotted. 

It was a sickness.

Once or twice he nearly commented on the videos, but refrained.

Funny thing too, because Sirius was a bit of a YouTube sensation himself. He had a channel he started the year before called SiriuslySigning where he would upload the occasional sign of the day, and once or twice he’d even done songs. The whole channel was done non-verbal, sign only, and James’ girlfriend handled all the captions and editing. Being a bit dramatic and flamboyant as he was, the channel went viral in a matter of months. 

Now at nearly three million subscribers, Sirius posted twice a week, random bits of whatever he felt like. James would join every now and again, when he wasn’t busy at his father’s law firm. The last video they’d done was an all-signing cooking lesson on how to make James’ mum’s famous Dal Tadaka. It had been somewhat of a disaster, but they had an instant four hundred comments, with who knows how many proposals of marriage, which James thought was hilarious.

Clicking on the link to HowlingMoon’s latest video, Sirius leant forward when he realised it was a tutorial for a song on the ukulele. His heart leapt into his throat when he saw Moony taking a seat behind the camera, his shy smile showing the front of his teeth. Sirius thought he might swoon over the slight overbite and the adorable lilt when he pronounced the words, “video tutorial.”

“Welcome welcome,” Moony said, the sound of his warm voice sending shivers up Sirius’ spine. “I was bored today so I thought I’d bring out my trusty tenor uke, as you can see here.” He lifted it in the air with a crooked, half-smile. “I like to call her Rowena, but that’s not her proper name. It’s Rose, but well…you know what, it’s a very long story and would likely bore you all.” He gave a small, self-deprecating smile.

“It wouldn’t,” Sirius said to his screen.

“Are you talking to the camera or a video?” James finally poked his head round the door and Sirius slammed on the mousepad to pause. “Oh. It’s those HowlingMoon lads, is it?”

Sirius yawned, then shrugged one shoulder up and made ‘gimmie’ hands for the tea. James handed it over, and as he sipped, Sirius tipped all four fingers from his chin. ‘Thank you.’

Rolling his eyes, James nodded. “So what’s it today, then?”

“Ukulele tutorial.” Sirius shifted round so he was sitting cross-legged, leaning toward his computer screen. “Isn’t he lovely, James?”

“He is, that,” James said. “Although why you’ve got to go and have a proper crush on some bloke on YouTube is really beyond me, Sirius.”

Sirius pulled a face at his mate, sticking his tongue out. “Because they’re only perfect online. The moment you meet them in person it just goes tits up. Always.”

“Not always. You know with me an’ Lily…”

“I swear to sweet Odin if you bloody talk about your unearthly connection to Lily today, I will rip off my pants and smother you with them.”

James sat stunned for a moment, then shook his head. “That might be the most horrifying thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“It’s early yet, love. Now kindly shut the fuck up so I can pine properly.” He hit play again, and Moony resumed his video.

“Now, I’ve not done one of these before, tutorials on the ukulele. Dunno even how I should begin, but my mam begged me as she was claiming she hasn’t heard me play in ages. Which is true as I haven’t seen her in ages because the last time I was home was last Christmas. But here you go, mam. For you. And I’m going with the first song I ever learnt, Hey Jude—which she taught me of course. Hopefully it doesn’t make you cry.”

Sirius made a sort of dying giraffe noise into his tea and looked at James with wide eyes. “Oh fuck me, Jamie. I think he’s going to sing the Beatles.”

“Bloody hell, I hope not. You’re already impossible.”

Sirius gave him a sharp grin, turning back to the screen. “Come on, Moony. Sing for me, baby.”

“Jesus Christ,” James breathed.

Moony held the ukulele up to the camera. “Alright well, the chords we’re going to use here are fairly simple, even for beginners.” Moony proceeded to show the chords for G, D, D7, G7, A minor, and C. Sirius watched, transfixed as Remus’ long, delicate fingers moved across the four strings, slow and careful in front of the camera. His other hand casually strummed across the strings, down, down, up, down, down, up, down, down, up.

He went through the first verse, talking his way through it, doing slow chord transitions. Then the chorus came next, and he had a little more melody to the lyrics, though he was fixated on showing the mechanics of the song more than performing the song itself.

“So that’s it. It just repeats after that. And I’ve already copied the lyrics and the chords into the bottom. Sincerely hope none of the remaining Beatles find me out!” He let out a small chuckle which made Sirius’ cheeks go very pink. “Anyway, I’ll play it in full so you can hear what it should sound like. Mind, I’m no singer, so hopefully we don’t lose any of you lovely subscribers.”

“Oh fuck. Oh here we go,” Sirius all-but whispered frantically, grabbing onto James and forcing him into a cuddle. “Hold me.”

“Sirius,” James said, and threw his arms round his best friend, hugged him tight. “You’re like a child.”

“M’not. Just…I can’t handle all these emotions at once.”

Rolling his eyes, James pinched Sirius’ chin and turned it toward the screen, then put two fingers up, the first one by his eye and moved them out toward the video. ‘Watch.’

Sirius rolled his eyes, but obeyed as Moony cleared his throat, strummed the first few chords, then began to sing. “Hey Jude, don’t make it bad. Take a sad song, and make it better…remember to let her into your heart, then you can start, to make it better…”

Moony was lying. Or at the very least had no idea that he was, in fact, a singer. He was no Andrea Bocelli, granted, but there was a quality to him that well…was just sort of Moony. It was tenor and raspy, and his pitch matched the ukulele perfectly. His words were slow, rising and falling with the chords, and by the time it was done, Sirius knew what he needed to do.

“We’re doing a song video.”

“Christ,” James breathed.

“We’re going to do Hey Jude.”

“Of course we are.” James gave a resigned sigh.

“To Moony’s rendition. And then I’m going to tell Moony about it.”

James froze as Sirius extracted himself from James’ arms. “Wait. You’re what?”

“I’m just going to casually mention,” Sirius said, waving his hand at James as he climbed from the bed, “that we happened to be inspired.”

Sirius’ knee knocked the half-full tea mug over onto James’ lap. “Bugger fuck, would you watch what you’re doing!”

But Sirius was paying him no attention at all, as he’d run to his vanity and sat down on his chair. James sighed, looking over at him. “So…Hey Jude?”

“Yes.”

“And you really want to get this Moony’s attention?”

Sirius swivelled round in the chair and fixed determined grey eyes on James. “Listen, I’m basically famous, James.”

“You’re not…”

“Basically. I make money off my videos.”

“Well yes but…”

“And YouTubers who are basically famous basically are allowed to talk to each other.”

James scrubbed his hand down his face. “You’ve had YouTubers try to chat you before and you’ve always told them to piss off.”

Sirius turned back to the mirror and began to apply black eyeliner just above his lashes. “Mmm, this is true. But none of them were as pretty as Moony.”

“So this is a win over random YouTuber plan, is it? Plotting to pull someone from a ukulele tutorial video?”

Sirius flipped two fingers into the air over his shoulder as he grabbed his brush and swept his hair back into a topknot. “God, I’m pretty. I mean, just look at me.”

“Yes, you’re very lovely,” James replied automatically, as he’d been trained to do since they were about twelve and Sirius had discovered the joys of his own reflection. “I’m sure he’s going to love your epic vanity and self-absorbed-”

“Listen,” Sirius said waving the brush over his shoulder, “if he’s really the love of my life, he will.”

Rolling his eyes, James stood up. “Obviously you’re going to need to practise, and sort out the proper translation.”

Sirius shook his head. “Jamie, love, my first language was sign. I don’t need to sort anything out.”

“Your first language was French,” James corrected. “You were born in sodding Paris.”

“My first was sign, then French. Then English. I mean, who wouldn’t fall in love with that?” Sirius put a small dab of gloss on his finger and ran it over his bottom lip.

“Well I didn’t. And lord knows you tried.”

“You snogged me plenty,” Sirius said. “Still do, in fact.”

“Only when you’re pissed and crawling into my bed. And snogging is not love, if you recall.” James looked over and saw Sirius’ mobile buzzing next to his pillow. “Text for you.”

“Check it?”

James did, and let out a breath. “Reg.”

“Bloody buggering fucking shit,” Sirius sneered. “What’s he want?”

“Tea on Saturday.”

“Tell him I’m busy from this Saturday until the rest of eternity.” Sirius rose and tossed his tube of gloss down onto the table and crossed his arms. “Or until my body is rotting in the cold ground.”

“He’s just trying to connect with you,” James defended.

Sirius’ eyes went hard. “He’s trying to get me to forgive that bitch for tossing me out on my arse, flat broke and very literally beaten within an inch of my life. As you should recall,” he finished a little meanly.

James’ face softened. “Sirius…it’s not like I would forget.”

“So why should I-”

“Because he loves you,” James blurted. “Because you hated your mum but he didn’t and maybe he’s suffering a little over her death.”

Sirius felt something in his chest hitch. He’d always loved his brother. Even cast out and convinced he would never forgive Reg for not sticking up for him, he’d loved him. Even now. “I hate you.”

“It’s just tea,” James said.

Sirius snatched the mobile away and thumbed through the screen. The text was short and formal, as his brother always was. ‘Tea on Saturday if you have time. We need to talk.’

Sirius thrummed the pads of his fingers on the back of his mobile, then typed back, _‘I’ll see if I can fit you in. Laterz.’_

He tossed the mobile on the bed and turned to James. “Alright, love. Queue up Moony’s video, I need this to be the most perfect video we have ever filmed. Text Lily, is she over tonight? She knows all my good angles. Ring her up, see if she can pull the audio or maybe even video from Moony’s channel to add to ours. Don’t you think he’ll appreciate it more if he sees me honouring him?”

James snorted. “Oh lord, Lily’s going to love this plan. The win over a YouTuber plan.”

“That’s what we’ll call it,” Sirius crowed. “And my plans never fail.”

“Never? What about when you…”

“Shut up,” Sirius interrupted, “and do what I ask, Jamie.”

*** 

Sirius strolled out of his bedroom, hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans, and he looked over at the sofa where Lily was perched, knees up, her laptop open. “Hello my little ginger-biscuit.”

“It’ll be finished downloading in five minutes. You bloody owe me for this one. You do realise you’re literally stealing his video without his permission?”

Sirius dragged his fingers through his hair and gave her his most winning smile. “Don’t worry love, he’ll forgive me. They always forgive me.”

“Vanity will eventually betray you, Black,” Lily huffed.

“Not any time soon, I reckon.” He draped himself across the armchair and let his head hang upside down. “You’ll be filming, right?”

“Don’t I always?”

He grinned. “Where’s Jamie?”

“His dad phoned, needed help on a case. He’ll be back with take away, don’t worry your pretty head.”

“Just don’t like not knowing what my boyfriend’s up to.”

“ _My_ boyfriend,” she corrected.

“We agreed to share.” With an oomph, he righted himself and scritched at the side of his nose. “Lily, my love, I do have to work at the shop tomorrow, so if we could hurry this along…”

She ignored him for the next four minutes until the download was complete. “Okay, are you sorted with the song? Do you want to run through it a few times?”

“Did already.” He jumped up, grabbed her arm, and yanked her into the third bedroom where they had a small filming corner set up just to the side of James’ desk. They’d hung strips of dark black felt along the walls, and had one bright light which would illuminate him.

Currently Sirius was wearing a black Rolling Stones tee with the red lips, and light blue jeans with rips on the thighs. He grabbed a sparkly pencil from the side of James’ desk, twisting his hair up into a knot, and shoving it through to hold it in place.

“Make-up check?”

“Flawless as always,” Lily said, not bothering to look as she switched the camera on. “Let me queue up the song.”

Sirius went to the mirror perched on the wall to verify she was right. She was, of course. He swiped his fingers under his eyes just in case, then smiled at himself to check his teeth. Satisfied, he stepped back and went through a few of the signs. The song was crooning, though. No heavy dance beats, no complicated moves. He’d have to put his body into it, convey it was a sort of love ballad despite the song not being really a love ballad at all. He could do it, though. He was made for this, really.

“Okay love,” Lily said, perching the camera stand in front of the corner. “Ready whenever you are.”

Sirius smiled, feeling a little giddy. “It’s like bloody first contact, innit?”

Lily rolled her eyes. “You’ve got ridiculous notions in your head about romance, Sirius.”

“Just because you and James were horrible to each other before you got together,” Sirius said, putting his hands on his hips, “doesn’t mean we all should be. Now let’s go. Start the filming.”

Lily let out a long-suffering sigh before doing so, and with a careful eye and decent camera angle, she began.

*** 

Padding from the kitchen, Remus Lupin let one hand wander into his hair, giving it a small tug through the curls before plopping down on his sofa and bringing his tea mug to his lips. The overly hot brew stung a bit, but he liked it that way. Peering over his shoulder, he saw rain was still pissing down, and he let out a sigh. He’d wanted to go to the shops, but he was in no mood to make the journey there and back whilst completely soaked.

He could hear music from the other room, meaning Peter was “studying”…in other words, procrastinating on his final papers due at the end of the week and playing something on his Xbox. Remus had a book on hand, waiting to be read, but he wasn’t in the mood.

Knitting needles sat to the right, a maroon and gold hat about halfway finished, but he was in no mood for that, either. The weather was gloomy and made him want to curl up under a heavy blanket and sleep the afternoon away.

He sipped his tea again, then reached for his laptop. He’d been doing the YouTube thing for a few months now, and had never expected the attention his channel got. They were very random, all over the place. The first video to have gone technically viral was Pete’s when he was mucking about with some chemicals he’d stolen from the lab. He managed to turn a bar of soap into mouldable fluff, and the video had got 1.2 million hits.

When Remus had uploaded his arm-knitting tutorial, he’d got just over a million, and loads of comments talking about how adorable he was. Remus had never had the greatest self-esteem, honestly. He had always been the weird kid. He grew up poor, wearing hand-knitted jumpers to school, and his style had always been a bit barmy. He had always been thin, the lads at school slagging him for eating funny—because honestly back then, veganism was considered just that—a bit funny. Lads taking the piss about Kosher because they just had no idea what the fuck to ask the one Jewish kid at school.

The truth of it was, he grew up tired.

Then Pete came along, and he was different than they were. He was happier and kinder. They’d met in student housing, and a few years later, when Remus decided University was too much and decided it was time for him to settle into something else, Pete offered him a room and a partner for all his weird ideas. And he’d introduced Remus to Dorcas, who owned the Three Broomsticks Pagan shop where he was now managing and pulling a decent salary—at least enough to make ends meet and not survive on dry noodles and jam sandwiches.

He was content for the most part. Lonely, a bit, maybe. Not fussed about gender in a partner, but not often finding anyone who suited him. Who made his heart pound. Who made everyone in the room fade into the background. And Remus was enough of a romantic to want that. He also hadn’t found anyone who understood his sexuality at all, and would be willing to try and understand he rarely equated romance with sex. But no, to them it was always a joke. A phase. It left him feeling very much alone.

Licking his lips, he switched on the laptop and opened his email. His channel now had five hundred thousand subscribers. Not anywhere near the numbers some of the more popular channels got, but enough that he was actually making money on their random videos, and enough that he could only get through one or two percent of the comments before he lost track.

It had been long enough since his last upload though, that the comments had stopped flooding in over his rendition of Hey Jude—one of his most successful videos to-date—and as he scrolled through his inbox, something popped through.

‘You have new activity on Hey Jude, Ukulele Tutorial. SiriuslySigning has left you a comment.’

Remus frowned. He’d heard that channel name before, but he couldn’t place it. For all the videos he did, he rarely watched any himself, preferring to lose his attention in the pages of a book. But he clicked on the link and let the comment load.

_‘So hi. This is unconventional and maybe a bit illegal? Idk my mate’s girlfriend is insisting that borrowing your audio and video without asking was breaking some sort of code—but I’ve never been good about codes or rules so…anyway I’ve made a sign rendition of your song, but I linked you and everything so I mean I’m not technically being an arse, right? Well I hope you like it, anyway. –Padfoot’_

Remus frowned, absolutely confused. Who the hell was Padfoot and what, exactly, had he done that could be illegal? Remus was about to click on the link when he glanced at his subscriber count and his eyes went wide. Seven hundred and seventy-three thousand. He refreshed the page, and it went up by ten more.

“What?” he breathed. He considered calling for Pete, but instead clicked the link on SiriuslySigning’s profile and let it open. The cover image was of two men side-by-side, grinning. Both were ridiculously good looking in very different ways. The one on the left had messy hair, dark skin, brown eyes behind square-framed glasses, and a smile that screamed mischief.

The one on the right was stark in contrast. Pale skin, long black hair, narrow grey eyes, and a sort of casual elegance about him that Remus had never seen in real life. He had cheekbones that could cut a person, and a thin, aristocratic nose which on most people would look ridiculous but on him set Remus’ heart thudding in his chest.

“Holy shit,” he breathed.

Their bio was fairly simple. ‘Follow Padfoot and Prongs for various videos and lessons on BSL.’

That was it.

Sign language, Remus reckoned. He clicked open the video tab and scrolled through. There were a few music ones, some cooking, a couple of random videos looking like they’d been shot outside. And, Remus noticed, the neighbourhood actually looked familiar. Not far from his.

Then he reached the newest video. ‘BSL Cover of Hey Jude, as sung by HowlingMoon’s very own Moony.’

Remus felt his breath catch a bit as he opened it, and the video loaded. There was no real intro to speak of, just black. Then the video flared to life with Sirius standing there, grinning that ridiculous grin of his. He was wearing torn jeans and a Stones tee. His hair was twisted into a casual bun and held up by some sparkling stick, and Remus thought, ‘It should not be legal to look this bloody good.’

Then Sirius raised his thin, elegant fingers and began to sign. Remus was momentarily discouraged until captions at the bottom appeared, and he squinted to read them properly.

‘Hallo, welcome again to SiriuslySigning. Padfoot here alone today—abandoned by Prongs just so’s you all know. Today I was inspired by an amazing channel—one I’m obsessed with so follow the link and subscribe, you will not regret it. They’re called HowlingMoon and they do all sorts of DIYs and tutorials, and all their videos are properly captioned. I even attempted to hand-knit something and you all know what little patience I have for knitted things.’ Sirius leant to the side, then brought up one of the worst attempts at a scarf Remus had ever seen. He put his hand over his mouth to cover his giggle. 

Throwing the scarf round his neck, Padfoot grinned at the camera. ‘Now, Moony—whom I can’t get enough of his videos—Moony if you actually watch this please give me more—has uploaded a tutorial on the ukulele playing Hey Jude. So I thought as a tribute to my love of his channel, I would do a sign video to his own rendition. My lovely Lily has so graciously agreed to commit a questionably legal act of pulling the part of the video and audio of Moony doing the song, so I could sign it. And it’ll be up in the corner.’ Padfoot then pointed up, and sure enough, Remus’ face appeared. He blushed so hard he thought he might catch fire. ‘Now here’s hoping he’ll forgive me and maybe even leave a little comment for us to let us know what he thought.’ Padfoot grinned then, of all things, winked at the camera.

‘Alright, enough fucking round. Let’s get going.’

Remus sat back away from the screen and with bated breath he watched this Padfoot’s fingers—no his entire body, in fact—curving round signs, rocking to Remus’ tempo and voice as he signed those lyrics with a beauty Remus had never seen.

By the time it was over, he was half-in love and had no idea what to do.

Clicking back to the original comment, he hit reply, then stared at his keyboard. What was he supposed to say? Flexing his fingers, he thrummed them on the keys too light to make any letters. He bit his lip, hesitated, then finally typed out, **‘That was really brilliant. I’m not upset at all. I’m very flattered, and thank you for the shout out. My count has just jumped up almost a mil. I owe you.’**

He hit send before he could chicken out.

Going back to the sign video, he opened up a comment window and typed again how much he loved it, and just said thanks. And finally, just because he knew he should, he hit the little red subscribe button and smiled a little when he got the message, ‘You are now subscribed to SiriuslySigning.’

He glanced at their video count and saw the number eighty-two in parenthesis. He knew he had reading to do, and should get to bed early for work, but he knew it was going to be a very long—yet very pleasant night.

*** 

‘You are an arse. Also I just saw your latest upload. Hey Jude? Really? You, Sirius?’

Sirius glowered at his mobile but something was uncoiling in his chest. His brother had seen his channel? He was paying so little attention to where he was going, he nearly walked face-first into a lamp post and managed to side-step it with seconds to spare. A few people were staring, so he took a bow, grinned, and went on his way.

Before he reached the shop, he paused and tapped out a reply.

_What the fuck ever, Reg. You’re just jealous because you can’t make something like Hey Jude as punk rock as I can. Also I can’t believe you admitted to watching my channel. What time do you want to meet Saturday?_

He slipped his mobile into his pocket and unlocked the door to Diagon Alley Vintage Records. He turned on the switch the second he walked in, and sniffed. The shop, no matter what he did, smelled stale and old, just like the ancient records and used clothing they had on the racks. Not that he cared, really.

Sirius banged his keys on the counter and proceeded to open up shop.

It was a Thursday, so bound to be dead, and by the weekend he would be off and Marleen and Benjy would be there. No one had ever really accused Sirius of working hard. Even at school he’d managed to do the least amount of work for the highest marks—something that to this day made Lily and James both quite bitter. Not that he cared. The shop had been willed to him when he turned eighteen, after the death of his Uncle Alphard—one of the few members of the Black family who hadn’t shunned him completely when he’d come out.

Course Alphard had been a great, flaming queer, quite the talk of the family in the seventies, and supported only by Sirius’ cousin Andromeda who’d also been cut off. And Andromeda didn’t give two shits about the family, really. She married, had a kid, and had a good job and a good life. Sirius saw her from time to time—not as much as he ought, but he’d go round for tea every now and again.

The shop and the money Alphard left Sirius motivated him to quit University, as going into law was James’ thing and really all Sirius wanted to do was just get by. And the shop made enough money for that. And he loved it. Music had been his first love, James his second, Lily his third.

Now there was Moony, of course, but he wouldn’t be saying that aloud too often. Not yet.

Which reminded him…

Just after he flicked the open sign on, Sirius plonked down on the stool behind the counter and flipped open his laptop. He waited, thrumming his fingers on the counter as the wi-fi connected at a pace which gave Sirius the urge to stomp over and go “Office Space” on the router.

But eventually it loaded, and his email pulled up. There were too-bloody-many comments to sort one from the other, so he went to his page and scrolled until he came to exactly what he’d been hoping to find. The reply notification from Moony.

His breath hitched and eyes widened as he read it. And maybe a tiny bit of disappointment flared in his gut, because the reply was thankful, grateful even, because Moony’s channel had now just gone one million subscribers, but it was formal. It was…stodgy and bland.

Sirius drew his hand down his face and thought well, Moony was a bit stodgy and bland—in his weird funky knitted things sort of way. And Sirius couldn’t tell if there was no facial expression, no tone to the voice.

He huffed and then did something only Sirius would do—he gmail stalked him and found his account, sending him a quick note.

_‘Hey m8 I really hope ur not upset about me nicking your vid. I really am a huge fanboi of ur channel. Srry bout the g-stalk but wanted to keep it private. Msg me back if u want. xx’_

It sounded mad, it really did, but Sirius had rarely spent a day in his live giving a shit if something he was doing seemed mad. He shut his laptop and went back to work, dreading the long day, and resisting the urge to check his laptop for a reply every five seconds.

*** 

Remus, just getting off a ten hour shift, collapsed onto his sofa and put his hand over his eyes. He could hear Peter in the kitchen, and he turned his head. “Kettle on, mate?”

“Yeah. Going now. You want a sandwich?”

“Have we got tomatoes and sprouts?”

There was the sound of a drawer being opened, then shut. “Yes. And some of that manky avocado paste you found at that weird shop. You want me to fix it?”

“Pete, that would be wonderful. You’re a real treasure.”

Peter snorted a laugh. “Well you’re the one whose video got that channel to notice us. Did you see the subscriber count?”

Remus felt his cheeks heat up. He was exhausted, mostly from sacrificing sleep over the last two days, going through every single one of SiriuslySigning’s videos. He spent hours on the tutorials learning basic signs and had a semi-firm grasp on the alphabet, though he doubted he could do anything except make an arse of himself if anyone fluent in sign asked him to spell anything.

He’d become enthralled at the video Padfoot and Prongs had done talking about hearing speed v Deaf speed, where they recorded a conversation at a speed typical of signing students or the casual user, and then two people who were Deaf. The stark contrast was incredibly intimidating. The BSL alphabet was easy enough once you got the hang of it, but it was like art watching Padfoot’s thin, elegant fingers fly through it like it was nothing.

Remus was going flushed in the face just thinking about it, and put it out of his head. He hadn’t been online all day, at a loss of what to do for his next video, for one, and two he hadn’t got a reply on the videos from Padfoot so he felt a bit disappointed there.

Still, he’d been noticed once, and that was something. But he wasn’t sure how he could get Padfoot’s attention a second time.

He promptly forgot as Peter came into the lounge a little bit later holding a plate with a sandwich in one hand, and a cup of tea with the bag still in, in the other. Remus sat up straight and took the items, perching the plate on his knee whilst taking a long drink of the herbal brew.

“Ta, Pete. You’re a lifesaver.”

Peter smiled and sat down. “Long day, was it?”

“Dori’s poorly this week so I covered her shift.” Remus poked at the sandwich. “Did you use the vegan stuff?”

Peter rolled his eyes. “I’ve known you three years, mate. You think I’d forget?”

“Habit,” Remus said, flushing a bit. He took a bite and groaned. “God, this is the first proper meal I’ve had all day.”

There was a short pause in the conversation whilst Remus ate, then Peter smirked at him. “So that Padfoot, good looking bloke, isn’t he?”

Remus couldn’t help his blush, and hated that he was such a fucking open book sometimes. “Not bad.”

“You going to go for it?”

Nearly choking on his swallow of tea, Remus gave Peter a wide-eyed stare. “Go for what, exactly?”

“Dunno. Him, I guess. You’ve had his channel up on your laptop for like two full days, mate. Yesterday you rewound that section with his dancing and watched it on repeat. It’s getting a bit obvious. And ridiculous.”

“Oh fuck off, Peter. We exchanged one comment. He didn’t reply to my last, and he did a video of my song. It hardly means anything.”

“Dunno, he seemed a bit besotted himself. I mean I don’t get it. I think you’re a bit weird, but it wouldn’t surprise me if a bloke like that would go for you. Opposites attract and all that.” Peter paused a thoughtful eyebrow quirked up. “Would be weird though, don’t you think? He’s…I mean well I saw his channel and I reckon he’s Deaf.”

Remus shrugged. “I suppose. I mean, I assumed. He only signs.”

“Well, wouldn’t it be, though? Weird, I mean. You don’t sign.”

“No,” Remus said, very slowly, then realised Peter was right. How would he even attempt to communicate with Padfoot—or whatever his real name was? He could learn to sign, of course, but from what he knew it took ages and by then there was no doubt someone else far better looking and probably less barmy than Remus was, would likely come along to take his place. “I dunno, it’s just a YouTube thing, innit?”

Peter snorted. “Obsessing over a channel for this long. I know that look, Lupin. I know when you get all loopy about someone.”

Remus huffed. “Yes well…even if I did, it…I’m not sure he would understand. About you know. Me.”

Peter narrowed his eyes. “That you’re demi?”

Remus shrugged. “It’s not like, a well-known thing, you know.”

“Well enough,” Peter defended. “I mean, any bloke like that who runs a sodding YouTube channel has got to have some clue about the ace spectrum, hasn’t he? And if he doesn’t, educate the wanker.”

“Yes, because that went so well last time,” Remus grumbled. The last bloke he’d been interested in had found the idea of demi-sexuality not only funny, but something he thought Remus could just “get over.” It was hard to explain to people that Remus was hyper-romantic, but very uninterested in sex until there was a real emotional connection. And even then his drive was short-lived. It meant for a lot of lonely years, really.

“Well it’s worth a shot. You can’t keep rejecting people before they even know. And it’s obvious you’re mad for him. Just…go for it.”

Remus rolled his eyes again. “Okay really, fuck off and let me enjoy my sandwich in peace. I’ll do the dishes tonight. And no more talk about Padfoot! It really is just an internet thing.”

Peter laughed, but got up, calling over his shoulder “If you say so. Let me know if you need anything…”

“I won’t,” Remus shouted back. But he was already reaching for his mobile and connecting it to the wi-fi. His email loaded up a few moments later, and in his personal inbox was a single message. From SiriuslySigning at gmail.

Remus felt something thudding in his throat, like his heart had leapt up there and made a new home. He thumbed it open and read the message. Cringing at the text grammar, he was willing to overlook it because Padfoot had indeed replied to him. Privately. He wanted to take the conversation private.

He wasn’t even thinking clearly when he formed his reply. **I’m not upset at all! I was really very flattered, and I don’t really know why you’d love our channel. It’s just a bunch of mad experiments and my shitty crafting. But I’m glad you enjoyed it. Truth is, I binge-watched every single one of your videos. Your signing is incredible. Think I even picked up some so I might even be able to say hello should we ever meet without making an arse of myself. Or at least keep the arsery to a minimum. Feel free to chat any time. –Moony**

He hit send, then felt a burst of panic and the need to turn back time because what had he said, exactly? He felt like a complete fool. Shoving his mobile away, he groaned into the side of the sofa. What was he really playing at here? It was so ridiculous.

Just before he got up to shower and throw himself in bed, Remus felt his mobile buzz in the distinct notification for an email. A reply. “Fuck me,” he breathed.

Taking it out, he couldn’t help the tremble in his fingers as he thumbed the screen open and hit ‘see reply.’

_Well I guess I won’t feel bad the next time I nick one of your tutorials. Do more, by the way. I wasn’t joking about that. You know any good seventies? I’m partial to things with a good, heavy beat. But give me Stones any day. Also I don’t think your crafts are shit. You saw my pathetic attempt to do one of your scarves. I wear it every day, no matter how loudly Prongs complains. But maybe an in-person tutorial might benefit me better. ;) Then you can show me your shitty signs and I can show you my shitty crafts. xx –Padfoot_

Remus wanted to answer immediately, to say hell yes let’s meet right now because who the fuck needs sleep when he could have _this_. Instead, he forced himself to get into the shower, to take his time on it, to brush his teeth, and have a second cup of tea before opening his mobile and sending a reply.

Because it wasn’t as simple as, ‘Hell yes, when can we meet? Is yesterday too soon for you,’ in spite of desperately wanting to. Because he didn’t sign. He’d never even met a Deaf person before. He had no idea how to begin communication. What if he did something offensive? Not to mention Remus was never overly confident of his social skills, and there was a very real chance Padfoot wouldn’t like him in person. He cursed himself for being so damned insecure, for reading too damned much into it.

He tapped the pads of his fingers on the laptop keys lightly, then finally went with something generic enough to make his self-loathing increase a few extra points. **That would be great if I wasn’t completely shit at teaching. Not even sure how anyone gets anything out of my videos. I could always post something new. Was thinking about doing a TARDIS mug cosy for my next. You care at all for Doctor Who? Wormy’s a bit obsessed and had me sat in front of a marathon that lasted two bloody weeks. I thought your scarf was lovely. At the very least it suited you.**

He hit send, then threw himself back on the bed and was determined not to look again. He decided to keep busy with the tutorial instead, pulling out his yarn and hooks, and set his laptop camera up. Taking a breath and throwing a beanie on over his curls, he hit record and smiled up at the red light.

“Welcome again to HowlingMoon. I’m Moony, your lovely host for the evening. Tonight I thought I’d do a short tutorial on how to make a mug cosy for tea, in the shape of the TARDIS. It’s a tribute to both Wormy, who is currently sat at his desk being all swotty and studious, and to my new most favourite YouTube channel, SiriuslySigning. They did a wonderful rendition of my Hey Jude cover the other day, and you should check it out. Padfoot, as promised, here’s a short tutorial on something I bet even you—the oh so clever scarf-knitter—can get right on your first go.” He gave the camera a small wink, then got started.

*** 

Storming into James’ room, Sirius flung himself on the bed, ignoring the fact that he and Lily were currently snogging away. “I think I got a rejection. But like…the nicest rejection anyone’s ever given me. Please tell me I’m reading too much into this.”

Sirius shoved his mobile over, ignoring the pointed glower the couple were giving him. Eventually Lily sighed and took it, reading through the thread. “I…well fuck, I can’t tell. I mean, you gave him the in, but maybe he wasn’t reading it like that?”

Sirius rolled over onto his stomach and pushed his face into James’ hip. “Bloody hell, Lils. You’re the one who’s supposed to sort these things out for me!”

“When did he send this?” James asked.

“Last night. We chatted a bit, then he went all quiet, then he sent that. And I don’t know how to reply. Why is my life horrible and complicated?”

“Because you’re going after random YouTubers you don’t even know, you fuck.” James reached down and ruffled Sirius’ hair. “Just write him back and be more direct. Also, don’t you have tea with Reg tomorrow?”

“That sounds like the worst advice ever,” Sirius grumbled. “And also yes. Tomorrow.”

“So go get your beauty rest because I’m trying to get off with my girlfriend and I have never appreciated your cock-blocking.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Fine. Have sex. I’ll just go sit alone and lonely and pathetic in my room.” He stormed out and slammed the door.

But not before he heard James call out, “You pull someone at the clubs every time you go. I don’t want to hear it, you bloody piss-baby!”

Sirius huffed as he went into his bedroom, shutting the door, and plonked down into his chair. His laptop was open, sitting there on his own channel, and there were comments popping up. He wasn’t in the mood to read them.

Instead, as a means of torturing himself, he switched over to HowlingMoon and saw that ten minutes prior, a video had uploaded. A how-to crochet a TARDIS tea mug cosy. He clicked on it, and there was Moony, just as cute and adorable and somehow even more irresistibly so now. Kind of shy and looking a bit peaky, but it worked for him. His smile was all-encompassing, and then there it was. Moony had said his name. Or well, his screen name.

“Oh shit, oh fuck me,” Sirius breathed. Then Moony winked and Sirius bodily threw himself over to the side, burying his face in his hands This was too painful. Why couldn’t Moony just be direct and love him? Why?

*** 

Sirius refused to respond straight away. Not only did he not know what to say, making him feel like a pathetic teenager instead of the pathetic twenty-something that he was, but he was also meeting his brother for the first time in years.

He’d been forbidden from contacting or seeing Reg after he’d been thrown out, but after his father died, his mother relented once or twice. Of course, then Sirius had been spotted one afternoon by his mother, and she cut Sirius off once again for daring to appear in public holding the hand of another man.

He was a sinner. The worst sort. Hell-bound and all that other rubbish. He hadn’t heard from Reg again until three years later when his mother was dying. Sirius at first had told him to fuck off, but the texts kept coming and after a while, Sirius just couldn’t keep hating him. Because honestly, it hadn’t been all his fault. And Sirius carried around too much guilt deep down, afraid he’d let his brother down by not fighting hard enough to stay in his life.

But he worried now, how much influence his mother had over the years. Reg had never been the rebel Sirius was. Had always been attached to his mother’s skirts. Of course, Sirius had always felt outside the family. His mother was Hard of Hearing, father and Reg both Deaf. In fact, a large portion of his family were, only a hearing cousin born here or there. Sirius went to a very posh, very expensive public boarding school in Scotland, which boasted productive members of society from all those who finished in top form.

But his parents had just never cared. And it didn’t help that Sirius had been staunchly Atheist from a very young age, and never wasted any opportunity to shove it in his parent’s faces. Realising he was queer was really just the icing on the cake for his place in the Black family. Which, as it was, was no place at all.

He and Reg had been texting a while though. And so far no talk of God or the welfare of his eternal soul had come up. So maybe, just maybe, he’d made it out okay. Being religious was one thing, so long as he wasn’t having this little tea to try and convince Sirius to return to the fold.

Sirius would have no problem, if his brother started that rubbish, with bringing out all the family skeletons to display them for the world to see. It was always the ones with the most pristine public faces that had the worst sort of sins buried in their cupboards. Like incest, arranged marriages, and—as Sirius experienced—beating their children senseless.

Taking a breath, he got off the tube and found himself stood on the street he’d spent so many of his childhood afternoons. Being this close to Grimmauld Place was physically uncomfortable. He hadn’t been to this area of London since he’d been thrown out—on purpose of course. He avoided it like the plague.

Now he was there and holding his phone, reading a text from James asking if he was alright.

_Only nearly vomited twice, but so far everything’s still safely encased in the lining of my stomach. I’m on my way now. Text you when I’m done. Love you._

He listened to the subtle clicking of his motorbike boots on the pavement as he headed up the street and round the corner to the café. And there he was. His brother. Nine years since he’d seen him last. At least in person. Reg had been fourteen when Sirius had been thrown out. At the time he was short, thin, lanky hair and nose far too big for his face.

It seemed he’d grown into all that now. In fact, he looked a great deal like Sirius. He was taller, his shoulders more broad, face having filled out since puberty. His hair was clipped somewhat short, still worn a bit floppy over the ears and forehead. He was wearing a pressed white shirt and jeans, and he sat with Sirius’ same casual arrogance, leg stretched out, arm over the back of the chair, smirk playing at his lips.

Taking a breath, Sirius approached and saw the shift when he caught his brother’s eye. Regulus sat forward a bit, losing his casual air, and stood when Sirius got close enough. They regarded each other with a distinct caution, then Reg smiled.

‘Hi.’

Sirius rolled his eyes. ‘Coffee first. Hi later.’ He watched Regulus resume his seat, then went round to the front to order an extra hot latte with soy milk. He waited at the counter for it, tapping his foot, snatching it from the barista’s hands before she could call his name, then venturing back outside to where his brother was still waiting. So they were really going to do this, then?

‘Hungry?’ Reg asked as Sirius took a seat. ‘I said tea on the text.’

Sirius shook his head as he sipped. ‘Strange, but seeing my brother for the first time in nine years has destroyed my appetite.’

Regulus stared, then snorted a laugh. ‘Me as well.’

There was a silence between them, both unsure what to say. Then Sirius spotted the cross hanging from his brother’s neck and, unable to stop himself, leant forward and grabbed it, pinching it between his fingers. He gave his brother a withering look, but Regulus’ expression didn’t change.

‘How’s God?’ Sirius asked, a scathing expression crossing his face.

Regulus fliched, but immediately lifted his chin. ‘I’m not mum,’ He pointed out. ‘I’m not here to save you.’

Sirius laughed and shook his head. ‘Good, because you’d be too late.’

Regulus licked his lips, then lifted his mug and took a drink. He paused a moment, fidgeting with his mug, then blurted. ‘I missed you.’

That hit him like a blow, sudden and harsh, and Sirius felt his head shaking back and forth, his gaze softening when he replied, ‘I know. Me too.’

It was the break in tension they really needed, and suddenly the conversation flowed easily like it had never stopped. Except instead of gossip about cousins or mates at school, it was playing catch up. Nine long years of it. Reg told him about his sixth form, about University. He was working for their uncle now at Black Publishing and was doing well. He had a girlfriend, who was hearing but fluent in sign. They were thinking about marriage and kids.

Sirius told him everything as well. About how he was not ashamed for leaving, about how he was still angry for the abuse, and how he never forgave himself for leaving Regulus. Regulus, for his part, said he understood, and never blamed Sirius. And, as it was, held bitterness toward their mother for most of her remaining life.

‘You and James still friends?’ Reg asked.

Sirius grinned. ‘Of course. Always will be.’

‘And no boyfriend?’

Sirius gave a casual shrug. ‘Not currently.’

Reg’s face went funny for a second, and he frowned. ‘Am I being loud?’

Sirius blinked at the question. ‘I don’t…know. I guess I’m still used to you.’ He had to think about it for a moment. Reg had never been a particularly loud signer. He was profoundly Deaf so he was always unaware of the small noises he made when he signed. Occasional hums, huffs and sighs, he’d vocalise parts of words without realising it, but his volume had always been very low. ‘I don’t think so. Why?’

Reg shook his head, his gaze darting to the table that sat behind Sirius, then realisation seemed to dawn on him, and he grinned. ‘So that bloke on the video. Hey Jude.’

Sirius felt his face heat up. ‘What of him?’

‘Well, he’s sitting behind you, a bit to the side. Watching us. I thought it was me being loud. But he’s actually staring at you.’

Sirius felt his entire body go very hot, then very cold. Moony? It was…sodding Moony? ‘Oh my god.’

Regulus threw his head back and laughed loudly. ‘Holy shit.’ Shaking his head, he leant forward a bit. ‘You going to talk to him?’

Sirius gulped, then shook his head. ‘No.’

‘Why not?’

‘I…’

Reg shook his head. ‘You know he thinks you’re Deaf.’

Sirius froze. ‘He…what?’

‘Deaf. He’s very easy to speech-read. He’s chatting to his friend now. Thinks you’re Deaf. Thought about saying hi but worried about his bad signs.’

Sirius blinked. Then blinked again. Then started to stand, but sat back down. ‘What do I do?’

‘Give him your number.’

Instead, Sirius pulled out his mobile and checked the time. ‘I… I should…go.’ His fingers stuttered over the signs. ‘Text me later. We’ll have you over. This week. Whenever. Bring your girlfriend. This was good. Love you.’ His hands were all over the place, and he hurried away before Moony caught on and he embarrassed himself further.

*** 

Remus and Pete had been enjoying their quiet tea outside on a surprisingly lovely day when Peter all-but choked on his drink. He leant forward, pounding on his own chest, and when Remus started to reach forward, Peter shook his head.

“Oh my god, it’s him.”

Remus’ eyebrows went up. “What?”

“Your…your dream man. The Deaf one. He’s literally sitting right behind you.”

Remus’ eyes went wide and he felt something sparked through him, sharp and violent. Unable to stop himself, he turned slightly to his right and sure enough, Peter was right. It was Padfoot. Sat at a table with another man who looked uncannily like him, his hands flying and a tense expression on his face

“There’s sodding two of them,” Remus breathed.

“Brothers?” Peter wondered.

“Must be.” Remus knew it was impolite to stare, but he watched the pair exchanging signs. It looked awkward, both their faces screwed up like they didn’t want to be there at all, but the longer time passed, the more at ease they became.

Remus really did try not to watch. He did. But he couldn’t help it. The other one caught his eye a few times, sending his gaze darting back toward the table, but oh my god. It was Padfoot, and he was right there.

“You could go and say hi,” Peter suggested.

Remus shook his head, his hands worrying at the sleeve of his jumper. “With what? I mean, the signs I have are probably all wrong and…no. I’m not going to embarrass myself. He hasn’t even seen me yet, has he?”

Peter glanced over, then shook his head. “Reckon not.”

Remus bowed his head toward his plate. “Buggering fuck. I can’t…I cannot believe this.”

Then there was a slight commotion, and Padfoot was suddenly on his feet and hurrying away. The other one leant back against the table, laughing at Padfoot’s hasty exit. He stared pointedly at Remus for a moment, then reached over and stole Padfoot’s abandoned paper napkin, pulling an elegant, black fountain pen from his pocket.

Remus forced his gaze away, trying to ignore the heavy disappointment because he had been right there. “That was weird,” he muttered.

But it only got weirder when the Padfoot look-alike approached the table and set the napkin down. He gestured for Remus to pick it up, which he did, and read the scrawl on it.

‘My brother is an idiot. He knows you were here and we’ve all seen the videos by now. Here’s his mobile, I’m sure he’d love a text.’

Remus looked up and blurted, “What’s his real name?” before he realised his mistake and blushing.

But the Padfoot look-alike seemed unbothered by this and he smiled. “Sirius,” he said, in a thick Deaf accent. “I’m Regulus. You can thank me some other time.” He gave a sort of wave of goodbye, then turned on his heel and sauntered away.

Remus turned back to Peter. “Sirius. SiriuslySigning. I feel like an idiot.”

Peter snorted a laugh, then glanced as Regulus made his way up the street. “You know, it shouldn’t be legal for two men to exist that attractive. It’s unfair to the rest of us.”

Remus chuckled, his nerves making the sound high and tight. “Christ. And I’m supposed to say what now, if I do text him? ‘Your brother gave me your number, so now I’m opening a communication with you that you didn’t agree to’?”

“I dunno, he seemed nervous that you were here. I mean, maybe he fancies you as well. He certainly seemed taken with you on his video.”

Remus dragged a hand down his face. “Buggering fuck. This is so unfair.”

Peter shrugged. “Well, you can always go back to pretending, but you’ll never get that pretty thing to go out with you if you sit round like soggy toast and do nothing.” When Remus gave him an incredulous look, Peter tipped his mug at him and grinned.

*** 

When Sirius burst into the flat, he almost collapsed with relief that James was there. His hands were trembling, and James immediately noticed his best friend’s distress. Grabbing Sirius by the shoulders, he yanked him toward the sofa and sat him down.

“What did he do?” James demanded.

Sirius blinked. “Er…what?”

“You’re shaking.”

Sirius glanced down at his hands, and let out a slightly hysterical laugh. “Well, fuck me, James, because he was just there. Just sat there having fucking tea like three tables away and…”

“Wait. Who?” James cleared his throat. “Who are we talking about?”

“Moony!”

James groaned. “Fucking…bloody hell, are you kidding me?”

“No!” Sirius threw up his hands, then collapsed back against the cushions, covering his face. “Moony was there. Reg noticed him and pointed him out and I panicked and ran.”

“Jesus, I thought Regulus had done something to you.” James let out a small, low chuckle and eased himself down onto the cushion next to Sirius. “So the bloke you’ve been pining over for—well, however long now—was sat three tables away having tea, and you panicked and ran?”

Sirius reached out, grabbing James by the front of the shirt and gave him a little shake. “Yes, James! I panicked. Because I am a pathetic loser who is all suave and shit when I’m pissed out of my mind and pulling blokes at the club, but when it comes to something actually real…”

James closed his hands round Sirius’ wrists and pulled him up. “You are not a pathetic loser.” James knew amidst Sirius’ vanity and ego was a cleverly hidden, endless well of self-deprecation and insecurity. It was a lost sixteen year old boy who had been beaten and thrown from his home for something he couldn’t help. It was a man who secretly believed he didn’t deserve good things. James cupped Sirius’ cheek. “You know it’s okay, right? You’re okay.”

Sirius took in a breath. “I know. M’just being…ridiculous.” He flopped back down and gave James a sly look. “He also apparently thinks I’m Deaf.”

James quirked an eyebrow. “Er. Why?”

“Dunno. Reg could speech-read him fairly well. Maybe it’s because we don’t verbalise on our channel at all and our bio is something along the lines of ‘two nerds who do signs.’”

James snorted a laugh. “Well that might do it. He never asked?”

Sirius shook his head, his mind racing. “Maybe we should like…dunno do some sort of explanation video? About who we are? Maybe a shout-out to Moony’s channel?”

James shrugged. “Yeah, alright. I have time this afternoon if you want. Lily’s done soon.”

Sirius perked up at that. “Brilliant. And maybe I’ll... I dunno, grow a sodding spine and email him and tell him I saw him and panicked. Then see if maybe I’m brave enough to just outright ask him for a drink.”

James chuckled. “Yeah that could be good. And if he says no, Sirius, then he doesn’t deserve you. Okay?”

Sirius nodded. “Too right. Except he’s so pretty and cute and his accent is just…ugh.”

“Okay, I can’t take much more. Go get whatever we need set up. Fix your pretty face. I’ll come get you when Lily’s here.”

Sirius pulled James down and planted a kiss on his mouth. “I love you.”

He grinned and gave Sirius’ cheek a pat. “I love you too.”

*** 

**I promise I’m not a creeper, but your brother gave me your number after you left. I sort of saw you er… and Wormy convinced me to text. This is Moony by the way. Remus—actually. Regulus told me your name was Sirius.**

Sirius didn’t see the text until after he was done filming the video. It was now in the hands of Lily, who was working diligently on her laptop, sat between James’ legs whilst he played Dragon Age on the Xbox. Sirius was in the comfy chair curled up with a bottle of metallic silver polish he was trying to use on his left hand—which he was getting better at, when the text came through. He glanced at the screen, but saw it was an unfamiliar contact so he ignored it in favour of finishing his nails.

His nails were nearly dry when he remembered the message, and he swiped the screen open and read, his mobile clattering to the ground. “Holy. Oh…holy shit. Oh my god this is a code red. I might be having a heart attack. James, get the paramedics on the phone!”

James looked up, one eyebrow quirked. “What now?”

“Reg gave my number to Moony. Whose name is Remus. Remus! Oh fuck. Oh fuck me.”

Lily snorted and shook her head. “Sirius, what did he say?”

“That he’s not a creeper and wanted to text because Reg gave him the number. I’m going to kill that fuck.”

“Or send Reg a thank you note,” Lily pointed out. “I think him texting you is a fairly sure sign he’s interested.”

Sirius’ face blushed red. “Oh shit. You think so?”

James was watching him with a bemused expression, then shook his head. “I don’t understand you. Never will, I reckon. Just text him back.”

“What do I say though?” Sirius whinged.

“Tell him you don’t think he’s a creeper,” Lily offered. She tapped a bit on her keyboard. “Okay, video’s ready for upload.” She glanced up at him. “Tell him to watch the video! Then he’ll know you’re hearing and he can ring you or whatever. And you gave him a very lovely shout-out.”

“Could do, yeah,” Sirius mumbled. He glanced at his nails, one of which he’d smudged in his excitement. “Bugger fuck. Okay. I’ll…just let me know when it’s ready to go. Then I’ll text him. Then…dunno. Something.” He swiped the polish off the finger, and started to redo it.

When he was finished, he pulled out his mobile, but decided to send something else first. _Reg, I fukin h8 u._

Four minutes passed before the reply came. ‘No you don’t. Also I like chocolate. Both dark and white.’

Sirius snatched up his mobile and pounded on the screen. _White choclt is not choclt u fukin heathen!_

‘Yes, it is.’

_No it is not nd I will nvr surrender, u fuk. Also Y are u tln me about choclt?_

‘Because I expect a lot of it in the thank you basket you’re going to send me once you and the cute bloke with the curls get together. You’re welcome, by the way.’

_I h8 u. Ur dead 2 me. Ur fukn dead 2 me, do u hear me, m8!_

‘No, I don’t hear you. I’m Deaf, you arse-face. And again, you’re welcome. He fancies you back.’

Sirius put his head on the side of the chair and let out a high-pitched near-shriek. _Fuk u._ Then as an afterthought, he typed out his address and hit send.

‘And that is?’

_Buckingham Palace, wot the fuk u think it is? My address. Sunday T, do not b L8._

There was a near six minute pause before Sirius got his answer. ‘Fine. You’d better serve something good.’

“I hate my fucking brother.”

James looked over and snorted a laugh. “Yeah? So why are you grinning like that.”

Sirius stuck up two fingers at him whilst he opened up his text messages and clicked on the one below Reg. The number without a name attached, and the single message. He took a breath. _I don’t think ur a creep. I h8 my bro for bein’ a shitface tho. Do me a favr and check my channel in like 10._ Before he could back out and run, he hit send, threw his mobile across the lounge where it hit the floor with a thud, then ran to his bedroom and slammed the door.

*** 

Remus was just getting out of his shower when he heard the buzzing of his mobile, and he tried not to rush his steps as he crossed the room to check the messages. He read over Sirius’ shitty text-speak and with a frown, saw the last request. Check his channel?

The text had just come in, so he took his time getting dressed, running his hands through his hair, then heading into the kitchen to put the kettle on. He went for jasmine, slowly steeping the bag under the hot water and adding a little bit of honey, then made his way back to the bedroom, trying to pretend like he wasn’t in a near-desperate hurry.

He flipped open his laptop and opened his browser. It loaded right to SiriuslySigns, and he felt a rush of relief that no one was around to see that. The page loaded, and sure enough, there was a new video titled, ‘Youtube Shout Out and FAQ.’

With a frown, he clicked the video and sat back to watch. It started out with the same black screen, then flared to life at what looked like a marble kitchen counter top where Sirius and his mate Prongs—Remus still didn’t know his name yet, were sat wearing matching grins.

Sirius looked over at Prongs, who nodded, then they turned back to the camera and began to sign so in sync it almost made Remus’ head spin too hard to read the captions.

‘Welcome to SiriuslySigns. We’re Padfoot and Prongs. Welcome to our first annual YOUTUBE SHOUTOUT.’ They paused, then raised their hands about face-high and twisted them back and forth rapidly at the wrist, grinning wildly. Remus was enthralled with the speed they spelt out on their palms, and how connected they were to each other.

‘From this moment on in the video,’ Sirius continued on his own, ‘we will be verbal.’

Remus felt his breath hitch. “Verbal?” he whispered to himself.

“Now,” Sirius said, and Remus blinked a few times because he did not sound at all like his brother. His voice was low and rich, curving round a very posh accent. “First of all, our shout-out. Prongs, my love, would you like to do the honours?”

“Er,” James said, also not sounding at all like Regulus did, with a very similar posh curve to his words, “I think you should, mate.”

Sirius then, to Remus’ surprise, blushed. “Right well. So our shout-out today goes to our favourite vlog, HowlingMoon, and in specific to Moony—though today we did catch a glimpse of the always and forever clever Wormtail. Hallo you two.”

Remus covered his face for a second when Sirius winked at the camera.

“Anyway, due to the impromptu and embarrassing almost-meeting which I will never forgive myself for—though in my defence I was having tea with my baby brother.” He then signed it for effect. “It’s come to our attention,” at this he nudged Prongs who had been tapping on his mobile, and looked up with startled, brown eyes, “that we’ve not even made proper introductions of ourselves.”

“Er, right yes,” Prongs said, giving the camera a sheepish smile. “We’ve failed a bit on that. I mean three mil subscribers. So it’s time.”

Sirius grinned, and Remus felt his heart skipping a bit. “So I’ll go first, as clearly I am the prettiest one here.”

“Oy!” came a voice from off screen.

“Paling in comparison of course, to the lovely Lily. She’s the one who gets my best angles and does all of our lovely editing and captioning. You want to come and say hi, love?”

“No I do not. My uterus is trying to crawl out of my throat at the moment and I look like shit.”

Sirius laughed and James shook his head. “Well don’t look at me,” Sirius said, then nudged James, “He’s the one who wants to marry her one day. So…alright, I’ll still go first even though Lily tried to usurp my throne.” He cleared his throat and absently reached up to adjust the stick holding his bun in place. “My name is Sirius, like the star—not like…let’s be serious. Though I will always and forever make a pun if you even think about using ‘are you fucking serious’ in my presence.”

“He will,” James affirmed. “Repeatedly. It’s…just not worth it. We modify our vocabulary.”

Sirius grinned. “I’m the one who started this mad channel. I’m a CoDA, child of Deaf adults, if anyone’s unaware what that means. My languages are first sign, then French, then English. I’m very posh and spoilt, and I work at a record shop—though with three mil of you I think I’ll not say which. Er…and I live with James and mostly Lily though she has her own flat she never goes to and I don’t even know why she bothers.”

“It comforts me knowing I can escape the madness at any time,” Lily called from off screen and Remus snickered into the sleeve of his fuzzy jumper.

“Alright, Prongsie. Your turn.”

James cleared his throat. “I’m James, I’m an Aries, I like long walks on the beach…” He was cut off when Sirius elbowed him again and grinned. “Alright. I’m at University right now, and I’ll be a lawyer—if everything goes as planned, by next year. Working at my father’s firm. Er…I love Lily of course. And this plonker sitting next to me.” He grinned at Sirius. “Which I have to to put up with him coming in several times a month pissed off his arse, snogging me in my own bed.”

“I deny nothing,” Sirius said, turning his nose up.

Remus felt a flush creep into his cheeks.

“But I’m used to it by now. I’ve known Sirius since we were eleven—same school and all that. He taught me to sign back then and er…now we do it for our channel.”

Sirius nodded. “So. That gets introductions out of the way. You still following this, Moony?”

Remus let out a small noise into his sleeve.

James rolled his eyes, then drew up a piece of paper and began to read off the questions. They were basic FAQ questions about signs, about learning sign, about etiquette, and then a few personal ones they’d got from comments about them.

“I get asked about my sexuality a lot,” Sirius said with a frown. “I almost didn’t answer because I don’t really see how it’s anyone’s business. But I’m also not ashamed. So I’m a cis man, quite gay—very romantic I must say, but I don’t date er…”

“Ever,” James finished for him.

“Like at all,” Lily called from off screen.

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Yes, well, anyway…your turn, Jamie.”

James huffed. “I’m a cis man, I guess you could call me pansexual, but I like to call it Lily sexual because she’s my everything.”

“You’re disgusting,” Sirius said, but he was grinning at his friend and Remus could tell already that if he didn’t like them before, he would by the end of the video.

“Anyway, so I think that sums it up. Don’t expect us to be verbal in anything further. That’s not the point of our channel, but we thought we’d do this. So…” Sirius stopped, looked at James, then they both brought the tips of their fingers to their chins, and dropped them outward.

‘Thank you for watching,’ they signed in sync. Then both blew a kiss to the camera and the video ended.

Remus blew out a puff of air, then sat back and glanced over at his mobile, which was still blank, Sirius’ text unreturned. He hesitated, reached for it, stopped, then reached for it again. What did he say? What could he say?

He swiped the screen open and stared at the text for what felt like an eternity before he answered it. **That was really sweet. The shout out and…and well everything. Thank you.**

There was a pause for several minutes, and Remus was just beginning to feel anxious when the screen lit up.

_Ur welcome. Soz I didn’t say it b4. I guess. So NE chance u want 2 maybe meet?_

Remus sucked in his breath. **Er. Okay. When? Where?**

_I got 2moro off. U free?_

**I work til half 4.**

_Where?_ There was a pause, then a second text. _I work at Diagon Alley Vintage Shop._

Remus blinked in surprise because he knew exactly where that was. It was literally a block round the corner from the Three Broomsticks. His head felt a little funny thinking about how often he might have actually passed by Sirius.

**I’m really close to there. At Three Broomsticks.**

_STFU! Shut the fucking bloody hell up! Dori’s place?_

Remus’ eyes widened at his screen. **You know her?!**

_For fukin ages m8! U want 2 c each other after ur shift?_

Remus felt his heart stammering. Because yes, he did, of course he did, but also no, of course not, because oh my god it would be too real. Not like a missed opportunity in a café, or exchanging random videos on youtube. It would be him and Sirius just…meeting. Fuck.

**Yeah alright. Swing by before my shift is up?**

There was a very long pause, nearly ten minutes before the reply. _I will b there. x_

A kiss at the end. Fuck. Remus worried his bottom lip, stared at his laptop screen, then had an idea. **Check my channel in about one hour. Gonna upload something for you.**

He sent the text, then put his mobile on silent as he went to the wall, grabbed his ukulele, and sat in front of his webcam. He didn’t bother with any fuss or fancy. He hit record, cleared his throat, then smiled. “Welcome welcome. Tonight I’m dedicating this to SiriuslySigns, Padfoot in particular, for their lovely shout-out. And he might have mentioned something before about loving the Stones, so I thought I’d play a little something. This isn’t a tutorial, but I might do one later.”

Remus sat back and mentally went over the chords and lyrics. He hadn’t done this one in ages, but he loved it. And if he was lucky, it might convey what he was trying to say to Sirius before they met the next day. Just to get it out of the way.

Clearing his throat, he sat up straight, then strummed the opening. He played it and sang it in a far more folksy way than Jagger probably ever intended, but Remus didn’t feel fussed about it. Not really. He had a feeling Sirius would understand why. 

“It's nice to talk to you today. It's very pleasant anyway. Is this as far as you go, Pads? But I'll let you guess. You can get me. If you let me, oh yes. You can get me. If you let me, oh yes…”

*** 

Sirius was absolutely impossible to deal with, and James had to resign himself to skiving off class to take him out. He forced Sirius to get on the motorbike and drive round the city aimlessly. They went to eat early on, then decided to have a walk round Piccadilly Circus because it was always impossibly crowded there and the more chaos that was around, the more Sirius reigned his in.

“I just…” Sirius was walking, his steps shuffled, hands in the pockets of his jeans. “Part of me is excited because I dunno, I mean I don’t even know him but I fancy him already. And part of me is ready to panic and bolt.”

James nodded. “I know. I mean, you forget how well I know you, Sirius.”

Smiling sheepishly, he nodded. “I know you do. S’why we’re out here, innit?”

“Well, that and Lily told me if I didn’t get you out of the flat she would redecorate.” James sighed darkly. “Every room.”

“Christ that woman is a menace.”

“But she’s our menace,” James said fondly.

“True.” Sirius kicked his feet along the pavement. “D’you think I’m making a mistake here?”

James’ eyebrows shot up. “With this Remus bloke?” When Sirius nodded, he shrugged. “Dunno, can’t say. I mean, you’ve met people in more bizarre ways. That bloke with the cheese from Tescos.”

Sirius snorted and rolled his eyes. “Oh bugger, don’t remind me.”

“M’just saying there are bastards everywhere and you’re bound to come up with a few before you meet the good ones.”

“Easy for you to say. You pined for Lily all through school. Didn’t give anyone else a chance.”

James ruffled his hair. “Well true, I’m not speaking from personal experience. But remember I’ve been there for every one of yours. And not everyone's going to be out to be a shit.”

Sirius rubbed his face. “He just…seems different.”

“He does,” James affirmed. “I mean, he made you a sodding love song video last night.”

Sirius laughed a bit, his heart swelling at the memory “And he’s not been, you know…”

“I know,” James said with a nod. “Not like the others.”

“So I think it could be good. I think… I don’t… Argh!” He threw up his hands, frustrated that he couldn’t get the words to come out properly.

“Sirius,” James said, interrupting him. They paused against the wall to a shop. “What’s going on?”

Sirius huffed, then dragged his hands down his face. “I don’t know. I’m tired, Jamie. Lonely a bit. Ruddy exhausted with pulling blokes at clubs for one-offs. It’s all gotten so pointless. Always about sex, then it’s over and I’m just…” Sirius stopped again and gave James a sheepish smile. “How ridiculous do I sound right now?”

James laughed. “You don’t sound ridiculous at all, love. You don’t.”

“I feel like with him, with Remus, he’s...well he’s not made innuendos. He’s been _different_ and I just…” He stopped again, letting out a frustrated growl. “I don’t know what to do.”

“I think you’re going to go mental if you don’t at least try,” James insisted. “You know the rules. Enthusiastic consent, safe sex—should you have any, communication, and don’t get up to any funny business in my bed.”

“You take all the fun out of it,” Sirius whinged.

James nudged him with his elbow, then pulled him in and kissed his cheek. “If it falls apart, I’ll be here. And if it stays good, I’ll still be here. You’ve got me for life, you fuck. So get used to it.” He kissed Sirius’ cheek again, and kept his arm round him as they made their way back to his bike.

Sirius stopped just before pulling out his keys, then turned to James. “I fucking love you. You know that, right?”

“I do,” James said. “And the feeling is mutual. Now let’s get home. Dad’s furious I didn’t show up today, even when I told him it was about you.”

Sirius gave a cheeky grin. “Well at least I know he’ll forgive me.”

“Yeah yeah, always the fucking favourite.”

*** 

Tapping his fingers on the glass counter, Remus earned himself a harsh thwack on his knuckles from the pregnant and very irritated Dorcas. She glowered at him for the hundredth time. “If you’re not going to tell me what’s got your knickers in a twist, the least you could do is not irritate me.”

Remus flushed. “Sorry, love.”

“Don’t sorry, love me. What does a girl have to do to get the good gossip round here?”

Remus backed up and plonked himself down into a circular chair with an impressively soft, fluffy cushion. “Well, love, if you hadn’t sworn off the internet for the year, you’d know.”

“You’re a git,” she said, but her eyes held a glint of amusement. “Is this about your channel? How you’re all impressive and stuff now that you’re making money off it?”

Mary poked her head round the corner. “Is he boasting again?”

“No,” Remus defended. “When have you ever known me to boast about anything? That’s Pete’s job.”

Mary rolled her eyes then came out of the back room to kiss Dorcas. “I want to nip out for food. Re, darling, you want anything?”

“Got plans after this.” He glanced at the wall clock which read quarter to four, and he swore it said that half an hour ago. It was a conspiracy against him.

Mary froze midstep. “What? Our Remus? Our darling Remus has plans? Or stodgy, three-jumper wearing Remus?”

He blushed and stuck two fingers up at her. “I could have plans. I might have plans all the time. You know nothing about my life.”

Dorcas laughed. “Oh darling, you can’t fool us. We practically raised you.”

Remus rolled his eyes. “Oh Christ, I’ve been working here two years.”

“Two years of long, hard work shaping you into the fluffy, hemp-jumper wearing, beanie knitting, hipster trash you are today.” Dori grinned sharply at him. “So what are these plans?”

“Well, I’m not going to tell you. Mostly because you’ll find out because he apparently knows you.”

Her eyes went alight. “Oh my god. Well it’s not Pete, obviously. That sorry sod’s straight as an arrow. It could be…well not Frank. He and Alice swore off a third until the baby’s older.” She began ticking names off her fingers, but Sirius’ did not come up. Thankfully.

“I’m not going to tell you even if you’ve got it right,” Remus muttered. “As I said, you’ll find out soon enough.” He glanced at the clock again. Ten till. Time was going slower than normal. He was convinced of it now.

Mary huffed, all thoughts of food apparently forgotten with this new information. “If you’re not going to tell us, then you have to serenade us.”

Remus groaned. “Please don’t. I really don’t feel like…”

“That, or you spill your guts. Which is it, Lupin?”

Remus rubbed his face. “Fine. Get me the baritone.”

With a squeal, Mary—who was always pestering Remus to play and sing for her—dashed to the back room and came out with a cherry-wood coloured, large baritone ukulele and dropped it in his lap. “Something catchy, if you don’t mind. None of your hipster underground crap.”

“I refuse to play One Direction.”

“You play what I tell you,” she crowed, then rattled off a dozen songs for him to choose from.

Glancing at the clock again, he groaned inwardly before straightening in his seat and adjusting his hands on the instrument. It was this or be tortured for information, and it seemed much easier. He had just over thirty minutes to wait, and then…well, then it would be time. And there was no telling what would come next.

*** 

Sirius was stood outside the shop, grateful the windows were fogged up from the impending rain and also papered in all sorts of pamphlets and tracts for upcoming Wicca gatherings and Pagan festivals and weekly coven meetings. He could pace for a while and no one would notice him.

He was early, fifteen minutes in fact, and he was torn between going in to say hi already, or waiting. Or being fashionably late. Or buggering off completely and just texting some excuse. 

But Moony did not deserve that, he reminded himself. He was a good sort. At least, he seemed a good sort. Sirius couldn’t let shit relationships of his past dictate potential future ones. Especially when the potential future held adorable Welsh YouTubers who knitted things and played ukulele.

Which, Sirius realised, he was actually hearing right then. Exactly then. That was Remus’ voice far off inside the shop, and the strumming that he shouldn’t have recognised, but did. It was…lovely, really. Everything about Remus was lovely.

He closed his eyes and recalled the Stones cover from the night before. Remus’ voice cascading up and down, the way his amber eyes sparkled as he tilted his head, the passionate way the words which came deep within him, and such a sweet song, really. Made sweeter by the meaning, and the fact that he’d changed the lyrics to say Pads instead of girl, which had sent Sirius’ head into a small spin. He forced James and Lily to sit and watch it three times in a row before they finally broke down and threatened him.

“Just... fucking…stop being a coward,” he hissed to himself. He forced his hand to touch the doorknob and, with a deep breath, he pushed inside.

Normally there were bells on the door. He hadn’t been there in at least six months, and that was once to drop something to Dori from Marlene, but there had been bells then. Now was just a quiet creaking of the hinges.

He stepped in, immediately surrounded by the scent of incense and old books. The shop was dark as usual, covered in books and various spell items. There were candles all over, and it was warm from the flickering wicks and tiny flames.

Taking another deep breath, Sirius followed the sounds of the ukulele to the cash till, where he saw Mary and Dorcas doing a quick, twirling dance to the sounds of some modern song he only just recognised from top forty radio.

“…I love you, when you’re singing that song and, I got a lump in my throat coz, you’re gonna sing the words wrong…” The lyrics stopped and intricate finger-picking rang out as the girls did a funny hop step. No one noticed Sirius yet, so leant on the side of the wall and watched, enraptured. “I just wanna, I just wanna know….if you’re gonna if you’re gonna stay. I just gotta, I just gotta know…I can’t have it I can’t have it…any other way…”

That was Remus alright, and Sirius stood on his toes and barely made out the man he’d come to see curled up on a puffy cushion behind the till, strumming away on a large ukulele. He was smiling at the girls as they danced, and his voice had dropped to a near whisper with the chorus. 

“Ladies, running down to the riptide, taking away to the dark side, I wanna be your left-hand man. I love you when you’re singing that song and, I gotta lump in my throat coz, You’re gonna sing the words wrong…”

The sound and tempo increased along with his volume, and the girls’ dancing got a bit faster.

Dori did a spin, then stopped as her eyes fell on Sirius and they widened. “Shut the fuck up! Sirius Black, in my shop! After all this time?”

He grinned and she flew over and pulled him into a fierce hug. He peered over her shoulder at Remus, who abruptly stopped playing. He stared with wide eyes as Sirius shot him an apologetic glance. “Hallo love. Look at you! Marlene said you were all knocked up.”

Dori glanced over at Mary. “Yep. We’re having a baby.”

“Bout time. You two had been talking about it for ages.” Sirius glanced over at Remus again, who had put the ukulele down and stood up. “And Mary, you look wonderful.”

“Mmhmm,” she said, her eyes narrow. “You’d not sound so surprised if you saw us more often. And I don’t want to hear your rubbish talk about how you’re busy. I know for a fact Marlene has more shifts and she still has time to come and have game night.”

Sirius threw up his hands, glancing at Remus again, who was still staring blankly at him with a stunned expression. “Sorry loves. I have no excuse. I’m a pathetic, sorry excuse for a human being.” He now couldn’t take his eyes off Remus, who was leant against the counter. “But you’ll hate me more when I tell you I’m, er…not here to see you.”

There was barely enough time for a breath before Dori rounded on Remus. “You fucking fuck! It’s Sirius! That’s the…the…mystery thing?”

Remus blushed hard, his cheeks burning. “Er. I told you that you knew him?” It almost sounded like a question, which made Sirius laugh.

“Oh…Oh I’d be angry if this wasn’t so perfect.” Dori grinned. “You’d better be good to our Remus. You know what I can do to you if you don’t. And I’ll use a knife, I don’t need a curse.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Love, I would never cross you. But I have come to steal your faithful employee away for the rest of the afternoon.”

Remus was now gathering his things, looking somewhat mortified but also smiling that gentle, shy smile Sirius had fallen for. “That’s fine. Take him somewhere good, you tart.” Dori smacked him, then pulled him in for a kiss on the cheek. “I will kill you, just so you know. He’s a good sort,” she murmured into his ear.

Sirius nodded, his heart feeling surprisingly heavy, but in the best way. “I swear.” He turned to Remus. “Well this is not exactly how I envisioned my hello. But I had a feeling, since it was, you know, Dori’s shop.”

Remus let out a chuckle. “It’s alright. I’m used to the madness.” He slung his pack over his shoulder and looked almost too adorable in his doubled-up jumper. Sirius had no jumper or jacket, just the motorbike, and he regretted it almost immediately as they stepped out and he could feel the threat of rain hovering just overhead.

“Bollocks,” he whispered.

Remus frowned, then seemed to notice the state of him. “Oh. Er. We can head back to mine until it passes. I’m just up the street.” He nodded to a building not too far off. “There’s curry there as well.” He pointed to a sign a hundred feet away. “They do all sorts.”

Sirius hesitated. Had he intended to go back to either of theirs? What did that mean?

“Unless you’d rather do something else. It’s just…the weather. And I’m assuming that’s yours.” He nodded to the bike.

Sirius did not fancy being soaked by the drive home, and he had a feeling eating-in at the curry shop would take away from their ability to chat. Mostly because he wanted to do something quiet. Like have a walk or tea or something.

“No actually, heading to yours would be fine. Is your flatmate home?”

Remus shrugged. “He might be at the lab, but he’s usually done early. If that’s alright?”

“So long as he won’t mind me.” Sirius shrugged, and hoped it came across as casual.

Remus laughed. “He knows all about you, trust me. He’ll be fine.”

The walk to the curry shop took two minutes, and before long they were queueing to the front to place their orders. Remus had one of their paper menus and he was tapping his long finger over each. “No, no. Cream. No.”

Sirius raised an eyebrow. “What er…are you looking for?”

Remus looked up and flushed when he realised Sirius was standing very close, their height difference very marked. Sirius was nearly a full head shorter. “Ah. Vegan items.”

Sirius plucked the menu from his hands, turned it over, then handed it back. “Right there.”

Remus grinned. “Thanks. You’re the best.”

Sirius had to wonder if he said it specifically to make him blush. It was funny, he realised as they approached the counter. On his videos, Remus was almost shy, very soft spoken and reserved. But Sirius found himself feeling uncertain and wary whilst Remus carried about him an air of casual acceptance.

It was…bizarre. “I’ll have the Tikka Masala with lamb,” Sirius blurted when it was his turn. “Also naan with garlic.”

Remus smiled. “The vegetable Malabar please. Is the roti made with cream?”

Sirius only half-listened to the conversation about the bread, then he realised Remus was paying for them and he coughed. “Oh, let me.”

Remus smiled. “Next time, yeah?” He handed his card over, and Sirius blinked.

“Right.”

With that, they moved to a bench to wait for their order, and Remus gave him a nudge. “You alright?”

Sirius nodded, then let out a puff of air. “I feel ridiculous, you know. Because we’ve been talking and flirting and now I feel like I don’t know what to say.”

Remus laughed. “Trust me, I’m petrified on the inside. I mean, I just…I got so caught up in your videos. And your shout outs got me to nearly two million subscribers as of this morning. I mean that’s fucking…” Remus waved his hand absently in front of him. “It’s amazing is what it is. And then I felt like a complete arse for assuming you were Deaf when you were with your brother the other day. Pete kept telling me to go and say hi but my signing is just…pathetic.”

Sirius chuckled a little and shook his head. “Have you been practising with my videos?”

Remus flushed. “A bit. I can say this…” He waved his hand, then made two fists with thumbs up pointed slightly at his chest, and then he slowly drew them forward away from himself. “Was that even right?”

Sirius laughed, and made just a small correction to the sign. “It’s not bad though. You know?”

Remus ran a hand down his face and when he did, his sleeve slipped down a bit and Sirius noticed several beaded bracelets wrapped round his wrist.

Unable to stop himself, he reached out with a finger and touched one that was rainbow coloured. “Those are nice.”

Remus looked down, then blushed again. “Hah. Yes well…I always forget I have them on.”

“Are they…do they mean anything?”

Remus shook his head. “Not really. Just stupid shit I collected over the years.” He glanced at his wrist, then pulled the rainbow one up over his fingers, grabbed Sirius hand, and looked him in the eye. “Is this okay?”

Sirius nodded, not able to voice it right then.

Remus grinned at him and slipped the elastic over his knuckles and let the bracelet settle on his skin. “There. Looks better on you.”

Sirius could not stop staring at it, and startled a bit when their order was called. Remus jumped up to grab it as Sirius toyed with the wooden beads. First a love song, now this? He was in so much over his head, he wasn’t sure what to do.

*** 

The one thing Remus Lupin knew he was good at was compartmentalising his emotions. He could take each one and lock it up in a tiny box until such time as he was able to deal with them. Which is exactly what he did the moment he turned and spotted Sirius leant against the wall of the Three Broomsticks.

As they stepped into his flat now, sacks of curry clutched between them, Remus felt his anxiety, fear, and elation scratching to get out. He took a breath and peered round for any sign of Peter, but it was obvious his flatmate was still at the lab.

“He’s studying Analytical Chemistry,” Remus said as he sat everything on their small, wooden table. “So he’s at the lab quite a lot.”

Sirius barked out a laugh as he leant against the wall, watching Remus pull the food from the sacks. “You know, I have no idea what that is.”

Remus grinned over at him. “Nor do I, and he’s constantly on about it. Bloody genius though, Peter. And we get up to a lot when he nicks stuff from the lab to experiment at home. Let me say it’s a lesson in trust when someone hands you a phial of something and says, ‘here, pour that on that little pile of salt there and watch what happens.’ I’m convinced one of these days he’s going to blow my eyebrows off.”

Sirius laughed again. “That would be a shame. They’re lovely eyebrows.”

Remus felt his cheeks go hot and those emotions scratching away again, so he took a breath and looked away. “Anyway er…you want to get some plates? They’re in the cabinet just above the kettle there.”

Sirius nodded, then moved round Remus to fetch the necessary utensils. Remus grabbed serving spoons and forks, then unboxed everything.

“We can have this in the lounge if you want. Or my room.” Remus noticed a slight tinge to Sirius’ cheeks. “Er…I only say it because…” He stopped and took a breath. “You know what, can I just say something? Get it out of the way?”

Sirius froze, then nodded slowly. “Sure.”

“I don’t want to have sex with you tonight.”

Sirius’ eyes widened, then his mouth began to twitch, then a gorgeous laugh tumbled from his throat and his head shook. “Oh my god, Moony. I don’t know whether to be horribly insulted that you’ve pre-emptively rejected me for sex, or insulted that you think it’s why I’ve come.”

Remus, now thoroughly flustered, ran his hand through his hair, knocking his beanie to the ground. With a grunt, he leant down to grab it and banged his head on the table. “Neither. I just…we’re both dancing round it and it should be clear. This is a date, isn’t it? Or do you flirt with everyone?”

Sirius’ chuckles died down. “Absolutely a date. I was definitely chatting you up. I think you’re far too good looking for my own good, but I didn’t come here for sex. I…that’s…” He took a breath. “I wanted a nice, proper get to know you first date and I think it’s weird because we’re here. At yours.”

Remus swallowed, then nodded. “Just didn’t think you’d fancy getting all…” As if on cue, a pattering sound on the window let them know the sky had begun to unleash. “You know. That.”

Sirius grinned again. “It’s alright.”

Feeling a bit better, Remus nodded toward the food. “Let’s take it to my bedroom. Our sofa is shit and eventually Peter will come home and smell of horrible lab stuff and cook something unseemly and it’ll put us off our appetite.”

Sirius’ grin widened as he dove into his own rice and curry, piling up his naan, and Remus did the same, fetching a couple of beers Peter had left out, and they went down the hall to Remus’ bedroom.

There was a light on from before he’d forgotten about, and it was mostly tidy save for a few jumpers lying on the back of his desk chair, and his unmade bed.

Sirius glanced round, then looked at Remus with a smirk. “This is exactly how I imagined it.”

“Oh sod off, you saw it in a video,” Remus complained.

Sirius laughed again. “Yes well…a bit. But you don’t get the full scope and…it’s very you.” He slid onto the bed and backed up so he was braced against the far wall. “I like it.”

Remus thought about warning him not to get food on the sheets, but he thought piss it. He was on a date with Sirius fucking Black and he’d been thinking about this ever since the damned video notification had come through. He’d deal with a bit of masala stains.

“So,” Sirius said, dipping the corner of his naan into his sauce, “here we are.”

Remus choked on his bite. “Er. Yes. Here we are.”

“We’re both shit at this conversation thing, aren’t we?”

Remus laughed and shook his head. “A bit, yeah.”

Tapping his bottom lip with his fork, Sirius smiled, white teeth gleaming. “I know. Full disclosure, alright? Deal breakers. We get them out of the way now just in case we need to finish this curry and say goodbye forever.”

Remus felt a rock settle in his gut, because that was just the worst idea of all time. But it made sense. Why waste emotions when there could be something he couldn’t get past?

“So dating deal breakers?” he asked, and Sirius nodded. Remus leant his head back against the wall and chewed on a mouthful of potato. “Alright. Er. I don’t date Christians.”

“Safe there, mate. My family cooked that out of me ages ago.”

Remus smiled. “Don’t wish me Happy Christmas, I don’t celebrate it and refuse to pander to the notion that we should just accept it because it’s the ‘norm’.”

“Noted. Doable,” Sirius said. “But are holiday and birthday presents on the table?”

Remus nodded. “I very much like presents. Nothing gaudy though. Small, thoughtful things.”

“Noted. So…ask Lily to mind my shopping list.” He winked and Remus felt a happy twist in his gut.

“I don’t date straights.”

Sirius barked a laugh. “No worries there, mate.”

Remus grinned back, shrugging. “Just getting them all out there. Er…up front with any STDs. Not a deal breaker to have one, but you have to tell me first.”

“Tested last month, all clean. But communication is key.”

Remus nodded, and absently chewed on his thumbnail. “Respect my sexuality.”

That gave Sirius pause. “Can we come back to that one?”

“Of course.” Remus wasn’t sure what to make of his tone. “Lastly, no making anti-vegan jokes. It’s not a phase, I was a vegan from birth—aside from you know, human milk. I won’t change my mind. I don’t give two shits if you eat meat or dairy but never ever try to slip me something.”

Sirius’ eyes widened. “Who the fuck would?”

Remus’ eyes darkened a little. “You’d be surprised.” He gauged Sirius’ reaction who—though admittedly a prankster himself, seemed overly offended at the notion, and Remus liked that very much. “I think that’s it. Your turn.”

Sirius tapped his lip. “Well, I’m with you. No straight people, which…obviously. Er…I’m not fussed about holidays, but I like being romance-y and heartfelt, so presents are a must. Giving and receiving. They don’t need to be expensive. I’m spoilt, but I’m not an arse about it.”

Remus snorted. “Got it. So knitting you lots of things…?”

“I would love that,” Sirius said, and sounded a bit breathy. “Er…” He cleared his throat. “Sometimes I need space. I will tell you if it’s something you’ve done or if I’m overwhelmed. I can’t deal with jealousy over my relationship with James…”

“Are you fucking him?”

Sirius assessed Remus’ tone, which was honest curiosity, then shook his head. “I will drunkenly snog him sometimes. It’s out of habit, more than anything. It’s not sexual.”

“Fair,” Remus said. “Not the jealous type, but I should add I’m platonic.”

“Same,” Sirius said. “Er…no gender-normative shit. I wear make-up and polish my nails.” He flashed silver at Remus. “I like skirts from time to time.”

Remus snorted a laugh. “I think we’re alright there, believe me.”

Sirius laughed. “Fair. Er…and enthusiastic consent. Always.” He shrugged. “I think that’s it for me as well.”

Remus felt himself flush with happiness. “Alright. I think those are…well good, right?”

Sirius poked a bit of his lamb and ate it before he spoke. “Can we go back to your sexuality now?”

Remus let out a puff of air. “Right, yes. Well…Pete said I ought to mention it up front, so… I never assume people know what it is. I’m hyper-romantic, demi-sexual.”

Sirius nodded. “So you love being overly romantic, but you are only sexually attracted to someone you connect with emotionally.”

Remus felt his insides shiver because he got it. He understood what it meant. “Yes. But I don’t really…I mean…I’m not often into sex…”

“Cuddles?”

Remus frowned. “Er?”

“Do you like cuddles?”

Letting out a breath of relief, Remus nodded. “Love them. Favourite thing, in fact.”

“Good. I’m not fussed about sex. I’ve had plenty of it. I’m not interested in some one-off.” He brushed a bit of his fringe away from his forehead. “I’ve had trouble in the past with connecting to people. My family didn’t make it easy. I don’t trust right away, and honestly, I’m close with James and Lily, but hardly anyone else. But I like you. More than I really want to admit right now, and I’m bloody tired of being afraid I’m going to get hurt again.”

Remus sat in silence as he absorbed this. “I can’t relate. I have a good relationship with my mam, and had one with my dad before he died. I didn’t have a lot of friends at school, of course. I was always the barmy kid. But…I also haven’t been able to date easily because people don’t get it. They think what I’ve got is a phase.”

Sirius scowled at his plate as he finished off his rice. “I hate people.”

Remus laughed. “Me too.”

“We’re good though. Us? I mean… this could work, you think?”

Remus let out a rush of air. “Yeah I do. I mean shit…I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since that bloody video.” And there they were, the emotions seeping out because he could only keep hold of them for so long.

Sirius was grinning at him, his eyes shining,and Remus wanted to hold him and maybe kiss him a little. Maybe wrap him in a jumper because he looked a bit cold. And that seemed like the most logical step, so he got up and went to his wardrobe for his favourite, softest jumper.

Turning round, he beckoned Sirius to the edge of the bed, and with a frown, the other man complied. He began to stuff Sirius into the fluffy, light brown thing.

“Oh I don’t do jumpers. I like punk rock and…” But Sirius’ words were cut off once his arms were in the sleeves and he brought the cuff to his cheek, rubbing it. “Oh hell.”

Remus was grinning from ear to ear. “I know. You can’t keep it. That’s my favourite. But it’s yours whenever you’re here since you’re obviously too punk rock to bring a jacket when it rains out.”

Sirius flushed a little and watched as Remus crossed the room to a bookshelf, and came away with a floppy, knitted beanie in maroon with gold stripes. He held it between his fingers. “Now this you can keep. I was working on it the night you made that video and well…” he trailed off and walked over, stuffing it onto the back of Sirius’ head.

He adjusted it, flopping over the back of his bun and resting against his neck.

There was something funny in his eyes, and Remus cocked his head to the side. Giving in to his immediate desire, his hand cupped Sirius’ cheek and felt the chilly skin against his warm palm. Sirius leant into it and closed his eyes.

“These were my house colours,” he murmured.

Remus stroked his thumb along Sirius’ face. “Your what?” he asked softly.

Grey eyes peered up at him and he smiled again. “I went to a boarding school in Scotland. It’s where I met Dori and Mary. And James and Lily.” He took a breath. “We had houses there. Er…the students, we were separated into different houses. I was in Gryffindor with James. Maroon and gold were our house colours.”

Remus used his other hand to touch the brim of the beanie which rested just above Sirius’ fringe. “That’s…coincidental.”

Sirius laughed. “Is it?” He leant his face in further to Remus’ touch.

“Do you believe in fate?”

Sirius snorted and then let his hand come up to rest over Remus’. “Never much thought, I guess.” He took a long breath. “This feels nice.”

Remus nodded though Sirius’ eyes had closed again. “I think…I mean I’d like to kiss you. If that’s alright.”

Sirius froze a bit, then moved backward on the bed, making room for Remus. “Cuddles as well? I mean it’s all cold out now and I’m warm and fuzzy.”

Remus laughed as he put one knee on the bed, then the other, and crawled to where Sirius had settled against the pillows. He took note that Sirius was letting Remus take the lead, to go with what was comfortable, and that was something Remus hadn’t experienced before.

He reached out and touched Sirius’ cheek, then cupped his neck and very slowly brought their lips together. It was chaste at first, but Remus began to move, to deepen it a bit. His fear kicked in, his anxiety reminding him that Sirius was not ace. He would get hard. He would want things.

But Sirius was keeping his distance. He had one hand above his head, one hand curled round Remus’ wrist, and that was it.

And fuck it felt so nice. Breathing hard, Remus pulled away and saw Sirius was grinning. “You’re good at that,” Remus breathed.

“I could say the same for you.”

Hesitating, Remus carefully eased himself down, pressing his cheek to his favourite jumper which seemed almost softer for being on someone who was quickly becoming his favourite person. He thought about how the next time he wore the jumper it might smell like Sirius, and he liked that very much.

A warm arm came slowly round his waist, tugging him closer, and it felt…well…right.

Remus fell down onto his back, and Sirius, leant up on his elbow, hovered over him a bit. He was smiling down, and his free hand came up, pinched fingers to his thumb at his chin, and he flung them outward, then pointed at Remus.

“Not quite there yet in my vocabulary,” Remus all-but whispered.

Sirius smiled. “Means you’re beautiful.”

Remus almost laughed, out of sheer nerves. “Not like you.”

Sirius shook his head. “No. Not like me. But no less than me. Was taken with you the moment I saw you.”

Remus made a small noise, then turned to the side and buried his face in Sirius’ chest. “You’re kind of overwhelming, but in a really good way. You know?”

Sirius put his fingers in Remus’ curls and stroked gently. “Yeah. I do.”

Taking a breath, Remus pulled away from Sirius again. “So...the day we didn’t quite meet. At the cafe. When your brother decided to put a price on his own head by passing over your mobile number?”

Sirius gave a deep belly laugh, nodding. “Yes. That fuck. Not that I actually minded, but I hate when he makes me look like a coward.”

Remus shook his head. “Are you joking? I was petrified of walking over to you.” He scrubbed his hand down his face, enjoying the feeling of Sirius being so close. “You and your brother look a lot alike. It’s...kind of ridiculous. Your genetics, I mean.”

Sirius snorted. “Well, genetics had to make up for the absolute shit that is my family.” He paused, then let out a breath. “Extremely religious. Got beat and kicked out when I was sixteen after I was outed as a pouf. I moved in with James. His parents are my second family.”

“Christ,” Remus breathed. “I’m sorry.”

Sirius shook his head. “It’s… I mean, it’s not alright. None of it is. But I was loved and taken care of.” He paused a moment, then said, “My mum died a few months ago, and Reg got back into contact with me. He hadn’t been allowed to for a long time. Nine years,” he breathed. “That day at the cafe, that was the first time I’d seen him.”

Remus’ eyes widened, shining with a hint of guilt. “Shit. And I made you run off like that? I’m so sorry.”

Sirius chuckled and shook his head, his hand trailing down Remus’ cheek for a second. “No, it’s alright. It was going to be awkward and everything. He’s coming over for tea on Sunday. You could...I mean if you want. Come as well. Meet him.”

Remus hesitated. “I don’t sign. I mean, I haven’t even started to properly learn.”

Sirius grinned. “I can teach you. And he won’t mind. If he did, he wouldn’t have made sure you had my number.” He leant down carefully and hesitated, but Remus took the lead and pushed his face up, meeting him for the kiss.

After a moment, he laid back and smiled. “I...well alright. I think I’d like to come. I’d like to meet James anyway. Properly that is, not through videos.”

Sirius smirked. “Yeah, though he’s not nearly as fun as I am.”

Remus shook his head. “So humble, you.”

With a shrug, Sirius kissed the tip of Remus’ nose. “Can’t help myself.”

“Wouldn’t want you to.” Remus nuzzed closer, and Sirius shifted onto his back, putting his arm round Remus and pulling him back over so his head rested against Sirius’ chest.

“Is this okay?” he asked, quiet and careful.

Remus nodded against Sirius’ chest. “Very. Hell, I could fall asleep right now. And it’s so early.”

“I won’t judge you,” Sirius said, sounding just as soft and sleepy.

Remus turned his face up and pressed a kiss to Sirius’ chin. “So we’re good?”

Sirius glanced down, shifting a little so he could better look at the man he was holding. “I’d like to think so. I fancy you quite a bit and if you’d have me…I think I’d…well I’d like to keep you.”

Remus grinned and nuzzled deeper. “I think that sounds like the best plan of all time.”

“Good,” Sirius said, and kissed the top of Remus’ curls. “So I reckon my plan to capture your heart with a sign video worked.”

Remus laughed and pressed his cheek to the soft fleece. “Looks like, Padfoot. Because now that you’ve captured me, I’ve no intention of leaving.”

 

**Epilogue**

Regulus nudged Sirius with his elbow, scowling. ‘Cigarettes kill.’

Sirius took a long drag of his and blew the smoke into his brother’s face. He didn’t protest, however, when Reg’s thin fingers plucked it from his hand, and he smiled when Reg took a long drag of his own. ‘Thanks for being here.’

Reg shrugged one shoulder, took a last drag, then crushed the cigarette under his shoe. ‘I said before, I missed you. I loved mum, but she took you away from me.’

Sirius felt something clench tight in his chest. ‘It was on me too. I could have…’

Regulus stopped him, squeezing a hand on his shoulder before pulling away. ‘No. It was her. I know it was her.’

Sirius fingered the cross round Reg’s neck and shook his head. ‘You still believe?’

His brother took a long breath, turned his face up to the sky, then smiled. ‘Not the way she wanted me to believe. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you.’ He looked back up at the window to Sirius’ flat. ‘I like your boyfriend.’

Sirius barked a laugh. ‘I hope so since you started it.’

Reg rolled his eyes. ‘Your video started it.’

Sirius shoved two fingers at him. ‘Why do you always argue with me?’

‘It’s my job.’ Reg smirked and took a step back. ‘He’s weird, like you. I thought it was a good fit.’

Sirius rubbed his face, then shrugged. ‘I like him more than I’ve liked anyone in the past. I’m scared.’

Reg shook his head. ‘You’ll be fine, you know. You’re the one who grew up right.’ He took another step away. ‘Text me later?’

Sirius nodded, and watched as his brother made his way back down the pavement. When he was out of sight, Sirius turned and went back up the stairs, and as he pushed open the door, he could hear James and Lily laughing hard at whatever Remus was telling them.

Peter was blushing bright red, shaking his head, and James was clapping him on the shoulder. “Oh that’s fucking brilliant, mate.” He looked up at Sirius entered and grinned. “We would have had the best time if these two lads had been at school with us.”

“Oh God forbid,” Lily groaned. “You two were already the worst.”

Sirius plopped down in his previously abandoned seat and leant his head on Remus’ shoulder. A careful hand dropped to Sirius’ thigh and squeezed. “Okay?”

Sirius nodded. “Yeah. Really really okay.” And it was. His brother was back, and his brother was safe and happy and moving _on_ with his life, the way Sirius had wanted for him. 

And Sirius had James and Lily. And Remus, who’d come with Peter, who was the missing piece to their strange, funky matched set. And Sirius had _Remus_ , who was a little weird and bent into funny shapes sometimes, but so was Sirius, and they worked. Like pieces of the same puzzle all mashed together to make this wonderful picture. Remus’ fingers moved from Sirius’ thigh to his hand. Their fingers fit together tight, warm palm against warm palm.

He looked back over at James and Lily who were now recalling some story about how James had finally got Lily to agree to a date. Peter was snorting into his beer, and Remus was laughing as his thumb traced intricate patterns on the side of his wrist. His heart was beating fast against his ribs, reminding him he was here. He was alive. He was actually happy. He wasn’t sure it could get better than this, but after Remus had come into his life, he was willing to bet it could.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me at lala-lady-elena on tumblr and feel free to submit any prompt requests for fic. xx


End file.
